Why I go to gigs

Hello (:

This post has spawned from another that I never published last week. On Valentine's weekend, I was in Manchester with my sister, because we had a couple of gigs (You Me At Six and All Time Low and the Kerrang! Tour)  and instead of writing a pointless, gushy post about how great it was, I decided to write this instead.

Music has always been a pretty important part of my life. My dad has gone to gigs since he was a teenager, back in the dark ages, and four/five decades later, he's still at it. It's a mentality that has been passed along to both me and my sister.

For me, it all started in 2007. I was fifteen when I went to my first 'proper' rock gig. It was Fall Out Boy. I had discovered them a year or two before the gig, and they were (and still are) my absolute favourite band. I can't remember the whole show, but I have this vivid memory of the couple standing in front of us singing 'XO' to each other rather passionately. I also remember the main support band being Cobra Starship and that kicked off my love affair with them.

It's been drummed into me that you go and see whoever, whenever you can. Plenty of bands miss out Sheffield on tours, opting to hit up Leeds or Manchester instead. When I was younger, I relied heavily on my dad to take me to see bands, and if he didn't fancy it then we didn't go. He did go and see a lot of things he deemed 'crap' for me, like when we saw All Time Low in 2008. But as my sister's gotten older, her taste has become very similar to mine and since we've both had jobs we've been able to afford tickets and travel, if necessary.

 I go to so many gigs, because I feel at home there. It sounds so cheesy, but there's not another way to describe it. I feel like it's an escape for a while. Festivals are an even bigger escape. When me and my sister went to Download in 2013, I didn't take my phone and it didn't bother me at all. It was refreshing to just be there in that bubble. It's become a way of forgetting real life and escaping any problems I have at the time.

I probably shouldn't illustrate such a strong point with this particular band and gig in mind, but it's the main instance that sticks out. In 2008, after dire AS level results, and many arguments with my parents, me and my friend hot footed it onto the bus into town to the Academy. In the couple of hours we were there, I wasn't worrying about what exams I should re-sit, or whether I was gonna go to uni or not, I was just there with my friend and when I got home, I felt like I could start to sort things out instead of being annoyed or upset.

I feel like it's important to see your favourite band live as well. My dad has taken me to see Fall Out Boy twice, so he's passed that along. Me and my sister are going to see Foo Fighters in May. So by the end of 2015, I'll have seen both of my all time favourites. A couple of years ago, I even bought an ex boyfriend tickets to see his favourite band, whom I loathed, just because I thought it was important that he have that experience.

Most of my friends don't have the same music taste as me, and most of them don't really go to gigs, so they don't really get why I spend so much money on tickets. I think everyone has their thing that they'll willingly spend money on. Some of my friends at university went to anime conventions and spent loads of money on their cosplays and hotels and travel, and that was fine, I didn't understand it, but I didn't question it. Because going to gigs was and is my version of that, in a way. 

A lot has changed since that night in 2007. A lot of the bands I've seen have broken up or faded into obscurity. I've seen farewell tours, break out tours, incredible tours and a few disappointments. I've stepped into stadiums and tiny, tiny clubs and trampled across festival fields. My music taste has developed even more so, although I do appreciate a good dose of nostalgia from time to time. I might not jump up and down like a maniac and leave drenched in sweat anymore, and I might spend my money several drinks instead of t-shirts and have to wear ear plugs these days, but it doesn't mean I enjoy it any less. I love going to see bands, and I think when you hear your favourite song live, that excitement, that rush, makes all the shitty hours you had to work, all the waiting to be there, worth it.

Do you go to a lot of gigs? Have you managed to see your favourite bands yet?

Until next time!

What am I doing with my life?

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Hello (:

I thought I'd take some time to reflect on a few things. I've been having a fair few 'OHMYGOD, WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING?' freak outs recently.

In this post, I talked about my desire to go back to university and re-train to become an occupational therapist. I have been to one university open day and done some research to find out where I could do some work experience to enhance my UCAS application.

Over Christmas, I temporarily decided to take on full time hours at work. Between doing that, and the other universities I was looking at not having open days until mid-2015, the whole thought process was placed on the back burner.

Since January came around, I've yet to make any more concrete decisions about it. I'm worried about a lot of things. It makes me feel sick that if I went to university in 2016, I'd be 28 by the time I graduated. There's nothing wrong with that age, of course, but having already done university once, I'd have spent the majority of my twenties in education. That, for me, is not what I want from what is supposedly the best years of your life.

At the same time I worry that if I don't go now, I'd lack motivation, drive and the mentality. At the moment I could still discipline myself to do work and finish it way before deadlines, and revise and have notes and cue cards prepared well in advance. I'm still aware of how I learn and take information in the best. If I leave it any later, I worry I'll have lost all of that and the already hard course will be even harder.

Then, there's the memories. The first time around at university wasn't great for me. I often felt lonely and isolated. The final year was a, for want of using a better cliche, rollercoaster of emotions. I put a lot of pressure on myself to better grades from second year and fell totally flat, graduating with a 2.2 classification. It wasn't what I wanted, anticipated or worked for and the crushing disappointment almost destroyed me.

So, with all of that, the question begs. What am I going to do with my life?

I don't know. I know I'm not the only twenty something to feel this way. I know I'm not the only person who feels lost and like I'm not living to my full potential. I often feel like I wasn't put here to simply fold up clothes and clean up after people, I need to do something more worthwhile.

I look at other bloggers, and my friends and I feel slight pangs of jealousy. An ugly emotion, I know, but we all feel it. Other bloggers go on these amazing holidays and have all these opportunities and I'd love to have just one of those things, but they have all worked their arses off for it and I think sometimes we forget that when comparing our lives to others. I look at my best friend and she's got the job she's wanted for most of her life and part of me hates her for it. But then I have to mentally slap myself and remember she's done two degrees and endless hours of voluntary work experience to get that job.

I'm not totally sure I'm ready to give up on writing and journalism yet. I've loved writing since I was really young, and I feel the need to really pursue it. For the past few months I've become quite complacent and I've only got myself to blame for that. I've expected things to fall into my lap and I do myself injustice by picturing myself doing jobs I apply for. It's cruel and it makes it worse when I get a rejection or hear nothing at all.

What this post is, is it's a kick up the arse. To anyone in the same boat as me, we need to get it together. Apply for that job you've been putting off, look into voluntary work experience to enhance applications, or even go and see a careers advisor (I'm making an appointment to do this ASAP!) just keep on doing whatever it takes to get to where you want to be.

And, if you're not totally sure where you want to be exactly is, don't hesitate to ask for advice or help.

Until next time!

January Reads

Hello (:

In 2015, I decided I was going to read more. It's not that I never read, because I do. But I wanted to be more active about it and not fall into 'reading ruts' as easily. I figured the best way to document what I have read was to blog about it. So, here we are, January's reads!

Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins
Lola Nolan is a sixteen year old, living in San Francisco, attending school and working at the local cinema. She designs outfits and wears a different 'character' each day, opting for colourful wigs over her own hair. Her life has been coasting along just fine, until the return of her childhood next door neighbours. Calliope and Cricket Bell are back to stir Lola's life up once again in ways she had never even thought possible. Between the two of them, an older boyfriend, two dad's and an alcoholic mother, Lola's life is anything but ordinary.

Lola and the Boy Next Door is the second installment in Perkins' interlinking novels. I didn't quite enjoy this as much as it's predecessor, Anna and the French Kiss. I found Lola to be a bit irritating in places and I found myself never fully rooting for her. There's a lot of build up surrounding the Bell twins, then it's a bit disappointing when you find out what really happened. It's a decent young adult novel, and the links between this and Anna and the French Kiss are subtle and quite clever. 3/5. 

The Fault In Our Stars by John Green
Hazel's lungs don't work properly since she suffered with cancer as a teenager. She meets fellow survivor, Augustus Waters, at a teen cancer support group. From that day on, they become best friends and eventually, first loves, until after a life changing trip to Amsterdam, tragedy strikes and nothing is ever the same again.

I've had this book for a while, but I've been putting off reading it. I was worried I'd find it too upsetting, but I didn't cry at all! It's a bittersweet love story that is brought to a halt sooner than you'd like it too. I did like Hazel's character, and her support group pal, Isaac. It was easy to feel sympathy for each of the characters, and the trip to Amsterdam is written beautifully. Green has handled a difficult subject with sensitivity and tact, but I didn't feel a real connection with the characters. 3/5

I'll Take New York by Miranda Dickinson
In New York, Bea James has been stood up by Otis Greene once again, in front of her entire family. In San Francisco, Jake Steinmann is packing up his life after his wife, Jessica has filed for divorce. In the wake of their destructive break ups, Bea and Jake meet and forge a friendship based on 'The Pact' to be done with relationships for good. Only, things aren't quite as simple as they first thought.

I'm a sucker for anything set in New York. Dickinson has created a group of likeable characters, but none of them really make a lot of impact. It's a frothy, dreamy love story, with a beautiful backdrop. The descriptions are enviable in places and the overall story is good. It does drag a little in places and I found I was reading whole sections without feeling properly engaged. A good book for a touch of escapism, but not one that will stick with you for a long time after. 3/5

Out of the three, if I had to recommend one to you, it would be The Fault In Our Stars. 

I wish I was a faster reader, I really do! I tend to race through books I really like then put off reading if I'm not enjoying a book as much. If you have any recommendations please pop them in a comment, I love to know what others are enjoying reading at the moment.

Until next time!

January

I thought that, since I want to attempt to document my life on this little blog, I would start writing about what happens each month. It'll be more of a 'round-up' post than anything profound or super interesting. But yeah, I thought this would be a good way to really go through what has happened and what I want to happen throughout 2015.

January started off in the above photo, drinking too many double Disaronno and cokes, singing along to Journey and S Club 7 and generally having a decent time. I still have the same hopes for this year now, just over a month later, as I did there smiling away in that photo.

This month has felt like the calm after the storm. Over Christmas, I was working full time hours at work and I had very little motivation to do anything at weekends. I was wishing away the weeks until I could go back down to my part time hours and gain my days back to myself and feeling like I could really start to do things and feel motivated again.

I feel like I have done some things. Not a great deal, but some things. I've applied for a few jobs this month, some bigger than others, and hopefully I'll hear something back from those in the coming weeks.

I've been a lot more social than before. I think that is due to not having taken my pill for the past month. I explained in a previous post that it had put a strain on friendships as I was rejecting days out and nights in with pizza because I felt so out of place and like I wasn't really myself. This month, every weekend has been filled with seeing friends, whether it be for a pub lunch, cinema trip or big night out, it's been really fun. I also went to see Slipknot and Korn with my sister which was THE BEST NIGHT EVER, I loved it.

I talked in this post about my desire to go back to university and re-train in occupational therapy. It's something that's been put on the back burner over Christmas, and I've had a lot of time to give it some real thought this month. I haven't fully made a decision yet, but I'm considering putting it off for another year. I don't want to go into it halfheartedly. I think for medical degrees you have to really want to do it and lecturers and tutors will be able to tell if your heart is 100% in it. I'm not sure I want to give up on writing just yet, and so I'm considering leaving it until 2017.

On the blog I have talked about my experience with the pill, did the soundtrack to my life tag, my goals and dreams for 2015, a travel wishlist, and the thoughts we have every pay day.

January is usually a gloomy month. I think the beginning of the year is always pretty glum, enhanced even more by rubbish wages as there's no over time at work. But, I don't feel like January 2015 has been as dull as previous years. If you are feeling down, just remember, it's over with now and things can only get better from this point on.

Until next time! (: